Saturday, 29 December 2012

Afraid In My Own Country

Incredible India! used the phrase "dilwaalon ki dilli" to promote tourism in Delhi. Let me tell you why the phrase is totally false and a lie. Do I need to recount the horror of the Delhi gang rape here? No, you must have read it somewhere else. It is interesting to see how one incident changes the thoughts and feelings of a woman towards her own country, her own society, her own people and the opposite sex.
    The earliest memories of newspaper reports on rape are from class 6-7. I did not really understand how it affected women. Now when I recount the incidents I cannot help but wish to be anything but a Homo sapiens. I do not wish to be a part of a species which is so damned and immoral. You expect to be safe on a crowded road, don't you? An assault on dignity . Two women were sexually assaulted at the Gateway of India by around 70-80 men. Others watched in silence. They were having their daily quota of porn and probably saving some bandwidth. Flip through the incidents and you will realize rape is not a spontaneous crime but the culprits have planned it in their head for quite some time. 
   Coming to how the recent Delhi incident changed my thoughts into something I had never imagined in myself. Now I am wary of every male stranger. I am afraid even of the traffic commotion. I feel myself dwindling. My views and fears might seem paranoid but they are true for a lot of women. You know what happens when a woman is raped? She loses herself. Her family might disown her. This  society blames her for stepping out of her home. She is blamed for having a dream, for giving wings to her dreams. Her dreams and wings are set on fire. She is basically blamed for being biologically different than males. You find the last sentence offensive? If yes, well, leave this post right now because you cannot tolerate the harsher truth coming your way. People talk a about a woman's body in an utterly derogatory manner and how many of you tried to stop them? In a train/bus the conductor and passengers deliberately touch a woman's body inappropriately. How many of you tried to stop them? 

     How does someone's rape effect other women? She is scared. She is losing her faith. She is losing her calm. She is becoming angry. She is becoming weaker. Her family is putting more restrictions on her. The society is blaming women for being whores. Coming back from a tuition makes you whore? Having a boyfriend makes you a whore? Chasing your dreams makes you a slut? Does a desire to progress, a desire for knowledge,a desire to succeed means that you are ASKING for rape? The society seems to think so. The anger against the Delhi gang rape will soon fizzle out like carbon dioxide from a shaken up bottle of coke because the politicians know that people cannot go on and on for months in this cold.

    I am no longer just angry as I was when I wrote this post: Why girls need to be superwomen?. I am disappointed, sad and scared for myself. I am not happy for having these feelings of disappointment and fear because they were never a part of my identity as a female. As a person I did fear certain things and overcame them. Nobody is perfect. As a woman, did I fear the society? No. I had faith in it. I thought the society would stand up to evil. But it did not. I kept my faith but all of a sudden the faith came down like a card tower. It had weakened over time.

    I don't like my country's capital anymore. Yes, it might be the epitome of opportunities for Indians and an example of India's accomplishments, but for me its a representation of a lot of things I hate. One of them, insecurity. Insecure in my own land, among people who were once my own. They are no longer my own. I can't be one of them. I don't want to be one of them. I am not telling you that everyone there is bad. There are some wonderful people there, but they no longer define Delhi. The people are no longer the ones with hearts.

   Would I disown this country? I might. This is not the country portrayed in its national anthem and national song. This is not the country I am ready to die for. This is not the country worthy of the Indian Army, whose men are ready to lay down their lives for it. I might go to another country to fulfill my dreams of knowledge. This is not because the other countries are safe or are totally unbiased against women. But I will have one consolation, that they are not my people. I was not brought up there. This grand old country has lost its charm for honesty and respect for women.

    Please don't plead for the innocence of most Indians. Innocent is the wrong word for Indians. This is not the country our freedom fighters died fighting for. They had a dream. We have failed them. But I will bring the dream back. And you, yes, you should pledge to change this country to fulfill the dream.

    Bon voyage!


  1. Incredible India! In India was once Golden Age,and now india is under the grip of vices.Now,this world can change only when Supreme Power comes and empowers every soul.Because the problem is not external but has originated due to emptiness of the soul.As dictated in Geeta,God arrives in India when there is total "Dharm Glani" in the body of a simple human & christenes him Prajapita Brahma.I wanted to tell u that God has really come.U are so fearful of Everyone but hold the hands of your Supreme Father and see how he empowers u.People talk of women empowerment but believe me ,in Brahma Kumaris i realised What is real Women Empowerment.God is our Supreme Father & he has come to remove all pains.It is our duty to spread his message.U think those people who raped are bad and should be punished,which is alright,but actually they are in lot of pains.U also told commoners enjoy porn but actually they have become empty.World reformation can only come when we fill ourself with GOD's love and powers and spread them.When We Change The world Changes.

    1. Supported. I believe all of us contribute to making the world better when we improve ourselves and a few others. :)